Defended All the Way Home

I woke up in a panic at 3 AM.

        “Panic” feels too soft a word, really. It was more like, dread. That thick, heavy feeling that settled into my bones like an unwanted guest who had taken up permanent residence in my soul. It wasn’t new. It had become part of the landscape of my life. Panic had a toothbrush in my bathroom and a spare key to my house.

        But alongside that panic came the still small voice, “God is your defender. Can you accept it? Can you believe it?”

“Yes, Lord.” I whispered. But again, the voice came; not questioning this time but pressing. Defender. I knew then that this wasn’t a test. It wasn’t even a command. It was an assurance. A warm peace began to wrap itself around me. But that word “defender” lingered.

Who is a Defender?

        When fear seems irrational and when your heart pounds and your mind explodes into fight, flight, or freeze mode, what does a defender do? I was lying in my bedroom after all, within the safety of my home. There was no warzone and no visible danger. And yet, my inner world was under siege. Life has been hard. It had been unfair. Evil did seem to triumph. Losses and failures had become so familiar that I no longer expected relief. I wasn't looking to win battles anymore. I was simply trying to survive. And sometimes, even the quiet bedroom felt like a trench. Trench warfare, like the kind my son was learning in history lessons.

        So, I asked the Lord again, more earnestly this time, “You are my Defender. But how do I live like that’s true? Teach me what it means. Help me to discern.”

        I have faith. I know the promises. I believe them, and they sustain me. But I sensed that I wasn’t yet living in the fullness of what I believed. So, I sat with the word. Defender. It made me feel safe. That was something. Maybe that was the first clue.

        I didn’t rush past it this time. I let it linger. I allowed it to unravel. Slowly, like a tightly wound thread being pulled loose. At first, it was just a feeling. Then a flicker of comfort. A sense of being seen, covered and protected. Then, the word began to reveal more.

        Defender. Not someone who fixes everything. Not someone who erases pain. Not even someone who swoops in to rescue me from every difficulty. 

        But someone who remains present. Someone who covers what is sacred. Someone who protects what matters most and it is not always my comfort, but my faith. Not always my feelings, but my identity and eternity.

        The more I reflected, the more I understood that God defends me in ways I had not expected nor understood. This was the early morning confirmation.

        He doesn’t promise that I will be spared every wound, but He promises I won’t be destroyed by them. He doesn’t always calm the storm, but He shields my soul within it. And even when things around me fall apart, He remains committed to guarding the story He is writing in my life. God’s defence is not always about escape. Sometimes, it’s about endurance. It’s about making it through with my faith intact.

The role of a defender isn’t just to protect me from outside threats. It is also to preserve something within. He defends the part of me the world can’t touch; the eternal, the called and the redeemed. He ensures that I will one day be able to say, as Paul did, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness” (2 Timothy 4:7–8).

That is what a Defender does. He defends that which lasts.

He refines me so I will come forth as gold. Pure gold. Gold from the Refiner’s fire. Set apart for Him, to be Holy.

“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold” (Job 23:10).

He defends my dignity when I can’t find the words to explain myself.

“Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth and will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore” (Isaiah 54:4).

He shields my hope when disappointment threatens to suffocate it. And He speaks truth into my identity, wielding His Word like a sword: “…and out of His mouth came a sharp, double-edged sword” (Revelation 1:16).

His defence isn’t always visible, but it is always intentional.

He guards my alignment with His will. He gives me discernment to walk in it and corrects my course when I drift. He covers me when I am unaware of the danger and strengthens me when I can’t see the way forward.

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold” (Psalm 18:2).

        When I am wronged, God asks me never to carry the weight of setting things right. He shields me from bitterness by reminding me that justice is His concern, not mine. But even then, I am not called to focus on His role as Judge. I am invited to rest in His heart as Defender.

        God does not take revenge. He takes vengeance. He is not a godfather who protects only the loyal nor does He manipulate outcomes to keep control. His protection is not about payback. It’s about purpose. He is a righteous Father who defends His purpose and therefore defends all who walk within it. He shields what is sacred, and He does not need to use fear to keep us in check. His defence is born of love, not leverage.

        It is also an undeniable fact that we live in a fallen world. The consequences of sin and brokenness are very real. But His defence is real too. And it is for purposes eternal.

        Jesus, who stood silent before His accusers, became the ultimate Defender. He did it not by avoiding suffering, but by embracing it. He stood in my place, bore the judgment I deserved, and made a way for me to be defended for eternity.    

“He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter…” (Isaiah 53:7).

And because of Him, I can live without fear of condemnation.

“If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31).

Jesus doesn’t just defend me in this life; He intercedes for me forever.

“Therefore, he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them” (Hebrews 7:25).

He is my eternal Advocate, the Righteous One who pleads my case before the Father (1 John 2:1).

Paul reminds us, “Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us” (Romans 8:34).

Jesus holds me securely, not just for today, but for all eternity. 

“I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand” (John 10:28).

A Final note

    The battles are real. The nights can be long. And sometimes, fear shows up at 3 AM like an unwelcome guest. But even then, your Defender is near. He comes not when you're strong, but when you are too tired to stand. He shields not just your life, but your hope, your faith, your eternity.

“The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom.” 2 Timothy 4:18

So, if today feels like a battlefield, hold this close,

“I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.”  Psalm 3:5

You are not alone. You are defended. All the way home.